More changes

My life is in a period of upheaval right now, and it seems it's not over yet.  I found out yesterday that the family I nanny for will be reducing my hours, starting in mid-October.  In addition, they are eliminating their daughter's (V.'s) riding lessons, although they are going to continue the partial lease on Rondo for the time being.

The changes are a blow, both financially and personally.  They'll be reducing my hours by nearly half, and while I've been talking about wanting to eventually return to freelancing full-time, the timing is not good -- the other changes in my life dictate that right now I needed those hours.  Plus if they reduce the lease agreement (which I suspect they will next month), I'll be losing that income as well.  Individually the amounts aren't that much, but together they add up.

I'm also really struggling with this on a personal level.  I have worked for the family for nearly three years now, and I love the kids as though they were my own.  I know V. did not want to give up riding lessons, but lately her mom had been pushing her away from it as much as possible.  I'm sad for V. as well as for Rondo (who loves her) and myself (as I love our afternoons at the barn together).

Finally, the reduction in hours comes at a horrible time for me, as they well know.  They asked me to work extra over the summer, and I agreed to it, despite Cleo being sick.  I'd been hoping to spend more time with her once summer ended, but she didn't make it that long, and the fact that I sacrificed time with her over the summer smarts even more now.  Cutting my hours so drastically is a funny way to show their appreciation for my hard work over the summer...  I can't help but feel a little bitter about that.

I have some time to prepare for the biggest changes, at least -- the reduction in hours and the potential for losing the lease on Rondo -- so I am sure I will get through this... and who knows, maybe the change in hours will prove to be more of a blessing than it feels like right now.  I just need to do some soul searching (and job searching) so that I can decide where my life and my career should go from here.