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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Contradictory statements


In looking over my website, which I designed more than six months ago, I realized that my Inspiration page tells a different story than the post I made the other night about child authors versus my experiences. On my Inspiration page, I say that I was supported "every step of the way" by my family, yet in my post the other day, I bemoaned the fact that I didn't receive enough support to stick to my goals and get published early on.

I know this seems contradictory, but that's because the support that I was receiving was contradictory. Like I said, my mom would brag endlessly about my writing; yet she was still telling me I couldn't make it as a writer. And no matter how much she bragged about me, she still didn't put any effort into helping me advance my talent into something more than just reading material for my friends and family.

The situation hasn't changed any, either. My mother still brags about me, yet she was really upset when I quit my job - a highly stressful and emotionally abusive job, I might add - in order to pursue a career as a freelance writer. And I don't believe she follows my progress, either.

So I guess in a way, I did feel supported. I mean, my mother bragged about me, and both she and my sister read anything that I put in front of them - back then, that is - and totally raved about it every time. But in light of these child authors, it's occurred to me that there is plenty that my mother could have done to support me further...but she didn't. I guess she supported my writing as a hobby...but not as what I wanted it to be, a career.

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