I'm writing this on Tuesday, after finishing my accountability and progress post for the week. I'm blogging because 1) website updates and maintenance are valid activities that need to be done, and 2) I'm realizing that I desperately need some down time today.
The aftermath of filming with the local doll shop on Monday hit me like a load of bricks. I've filmed with them a handful of times now, and I love it, but I'm also a writer and I love my down time too. Filming is a lot of stimulation. I get totally caught up in it at the time, but I think it takes a while for my brain to come down from the high. For hours afterward, I am a buzzing, overthinking, emotionally drained mess. The overthinking is deafening.
And then I crash.
I slept hard and deep Monday night, and slept much longer than my usual. Although I usually don't remember my dreams at all, I remembered enough when I woke up to know that I did dream, and that they were LOUD. I felt like my dreams had been they'd been yelling at me for hours. It was a similar feeling to how I felt after hours of my brain buzzing following filming on Monday.
And yes, even after all of this, I still love filming, and I will still do it again. I just hope eventually I'll get used to the high and be able to manage the aftermath a little more effectively.
Today, Tuesday, I'm managing it by giving myself permission for some down time. It is going to mess up the plans I just blogged about for the week, since I'm not getting done what I was planning to get done this afternoon, but I'll reschedule and it'll be fine.
Right now, I need a little quiet time where I can write and be in my own head while everything slows down a little, back to a manageable level.
While filming is the most dramatic example, there are other things that cause this kind of overstimulation crash for me. Big events and intense periods of busyness also do it. I struggle with giving myself permission for down time, as I think many of us do, but I think it's important to push back against the guilt. Down time is something we all need. While some people can tolerate more of it than others, we can't be running at full throttle all the time.
So if you're struggling right now, maybe scrolling social media or searching the internet while you procrastinate, this is the permission you're seeking.
It's okay to need to go at a slower pace for a little bit. Down time is necessary and good for all of us. If you feel guilty, remind yourself that you shouldn't feel guilty for listening to your needs. If you really can't shake that need to be productive, you can find something that still needs to be done, but fits the criteria for "down time."
Enjoy that down time, be sure you get what you need from it, and come back feeling refreshed when it's time to work again.